Sims 4 romance and attraction settings

You set it in Create a Sim. Select the three dots under the gender icons. The menu has tabs for Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Romantic Boundaries. EA describes all three in its sexuality, romance, and attraction guide.

This post follows that EA page and the EA WooHoo guide. We opened both on the day that we wrote this post. Some options need the Lovestruck expansion pack, and we say so each time.

The Gender tab has five options. EA lists them.

You can change the clothing filter in the clothing menu of Create a Sim, or remove it. For the full rules of pregnancy, read how to have a baby in The Sims 4.

The tab has three settings. Each one is a separate choice.

This Sim is romantically attracted to

You can check men, women, both, or neither.

This Sim is exploring romantically

EA says that No limits the Sim to the choices above. The Sim then has romantic and flirty autonomous interactions only with the gender that it is attracted to. Yes means that the Sim is open to romantic and flirty interactions with men and women, even when you checked only women above.

This Sim is interested in WooHoo with

You can check men, women, both, or neither. This sets the WooHoo interests of the Sim.

Your Sim can ask. EA says that two Sims must be compatible in sexual orientation and romantic interests before they can build a romantic relationship. It also says that you do not have to ask first, but asking helps to avoid a rejection and an Embarrassed moodlet.

• Ask about WooHoo Interests: Select a Sim, then More Choices, Relationship, and Ask about WooHoo Interests. The answer tells you if the Sim is interested in male Sims or female Sims.
• Ask about Romantic Interests: The same menu. The answer tells you if the Sim is in a committed relationship or looking for love. It also tells you which Sims it likes: male, female, both, no one, or exploring.

EA says to have a high enough friendship first. If not, the Sim can take offense. To see what you already know about a Sim, open the Relationships panel, select the Sim, and choose Open profile.

Romantic Boundaries set what makes your Sim jealous. The tab has four yes or no options. EA lists them.

1. Jealous if a partner does physical romance with other Sims, such as Caress Cheek, Kiss, or Embrace. This excludes WooHoo and Mess Around.
2. Jealous if a partner does non-physical romance with other Sims, such as Declare Love Publicly, Profess Undying Love, or Confess Attraction.
3. Jealous if a partner does WooHoo or Mess Around with other Sims.
4. The jealousy triggers of the Sim can change when the Sim talks about it with other Sims.

The fourth option is the only one that lets the story change the boundaries. Turn it off when you want a Sim with fixed rules.

EA names three features that come with the Lovestruck expansion pack.

Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs

You set them in the Simology tab of Create a Sim. They work like Likes and Dislikes, and they decide how attracted two Sims are. EA lists the categories: Hair Color, Activities, Characteristics, Outfit Color, Fashion, Romance Style, Affection, Flirting, Gift Giving, Physical Intimacy, and WooHoo. Sims learn them in conversation, or in the Who’s Up party game.

Romantic Satisfaction

This shows how satisfied a Sim is in the relationship. Each Sim can have a different level. EA says that the two levels together decide how fast the romance fades. If both Sims are Very Satisfied, the romance builds by itself over time.

Romance Dynamics

A dynamic describes the type of the relationship. EA lists four.

• Wholesome: Sims in love who show it with friendly and romantic actions.
• Steamy: Sims whose relationship centers on physical intimacy.
• Strained: Sims in love who are unhappy and unkind to each other.
• Unpredictable: Sims who go from fighting to kissing in a short time.

To set one, click the Plumbob icon at the top left of Create a Sim. Open Edit Relationships, choose the other Sim, and open the Romance Dynamics list.

In play, the game can ask you to change a dynamic. For example, Sims with a Wholesome dynamic that do more physical actions can get a prompt for Steamy. You accept it or reject it. Your Sims can also work on it: choose Ask to Work on Romance Dynamic on the partner in the Relationships panel.

How do you remove a dynamic?

1. Open the Aspirations icon in Live Mode, then the Rewards Store.
2. Choose the Romance Dynamic Dissolver Potion, and select Redeem.
3. When the potion is in the inventory, choose Drink, and pick the dynamic to remove.

The Sim needs satisfaction points to redeem the potion.

Two friends can become WooHoo partners. EA says that this lets them WooHoo with no romantic relationship. They must be good friends first. Select the Sim, then More Choices, Relationship, and Change Relationship.

The Sims stay friends. If they become romantic, the WooHoo partner status goes away by itself. EA also says that only Sims who are young adults or older can WooHoo. Teen Sims can only Mess Around with other teens.

The EA pages do not give one order. This order follows the steps that they describe.

1. In Create a Sim, set the gender options, the sexual orientation, and the Romantic Boundaries of the Sim.
2. If you own Lovestruck, set the Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs in the Simology tab.
3. In play, build a friendship before you ask about interests. A low friendship can offend the other Sim.
4. Ask about WooHoo Interests and Romantic Interests. Check the profile of the Sim for what you know.
5. Build the romance. With Lovestruck, watch the Romantic Satisfaction and the dynamic of the couple.

Each step lowers the risk of a rejection. A rejection gives the Embarrassed moodlet, as EA says. It does not end the game for your Sim.

Not as a menu. LifeSim is a free game in the browser. You live one life in a real city, and you talk to people in your own words. They answer in theirs, and they remember what you said.

We do not publish a list of settings like the one above. If you want exact control over attraction and jealousy, with menus for each, play The Sims 4. Read LifeSim vs The Sims for the comparison.

Do you need Lovestruck for these settings?

No for gender, orientation, and Romantic Boundaries. Yes for Turn-Ons, Turn-Offs, Romantic Satisfaction, and Romance Dynamics.

Can you change a Sim after you leave Create a Sim?

The EA page describes the settings in Create a Sim. It does not say how to change them in play, so we do not claim a way.

Can teens have romance?

EA says that teens cannot WooHoo, and that they can Mess Around with other teens.

• EA Help: The Sims 4 sexuality, romance, and attraction guide
• EA Help: The Sims 4 WooHoo Guide
• EA Help: The Sims 4 Pregnancy Guide